This situation becomes a viscous circle. I take whatever job I can get. I absolutely can identify with this as I am in almost the exact same position. Instead of allowing the fact that her and her husband have different definitions of “doing the dishes” get to her and ruin her own happiness, she changed her perspective and it has become a non issue. He even went so far to tell one “lady” that if she couldn’t meet him last Friday, he would be back on Tuesday if she wanted to “play” (he was home with his family until Tuesday). To know that the struggle is not ours alone. He basically told me to leave and come back when I do have work. My mother-in-law will cook for him and do the household chores. Love the other person, talk them up, tell your friends what I great person your other is and that they would be great working anywhere. My son is so angry because he worshiped this man. He just sat on his *** and kept saying, "I just want to work! I have spiralled into the most intense depression from it. I understand addiction, but it does not mean they get a hall pass from hurting people. What can I do if no one is hiring. She has made her own peace with something that needs doing at some time and by someone. Kate, you’re a better wife than I am! So, the statute of limitations has passed, thus, no appeal. All that said, I understand what your husbands are going through. I honestly do not understand it at all. He most recently got mad at me because another girl mentioned she had looked for work at a shop and because I didn't think of this first, he stewed on it until he eventually exploded. It sounds to me as if you need to step back from the extremist ledge and take a good, long inventory of yourself and your behaviors and attitudes, because not only are they contradictory in nature, but they are also influencing you into a lifestyle that tells you to give over your free will — which is a DANGEROUS precedent in someone who behaves like a victim. The one woman who spoke nicely to her husband’s escort is on the right track. By the way, before you jump to conclusions that “oh, he’s a man — he must be in the wrong”, I do 90% stage 2 kidney disease symptoms of the washing up in our house, nearly always before I go to bed and I never complain about it. They texted constantly and now this man has just disappeared from his life. I can’t force a company to create a job just for me. And the same goes for you. Don't take that blessing from them. This explains why I sit here right now in pain down below embarrassed to go to the hospital. Don't kill yourself. She’s on maternity leave and I go to work. Dear gbm68 - please don't think like that. Out of the 7 years we have been married, I have been gainfully employed for probably 4 of the 7 years. Make sure your sons have a nurturing and supportive environment for succeeding in school. These people I expect to be the most empathetic. Evidently no job = no say. I know majority of this is because he has such a huge resentment toward me and he doesn't feel I am trying. I never imagined I would be in this kind of marriage. They know you love them. Whenever i back at home he'll be taking his nap and I have take care my son all by my own. He does about ten percent of the household chores. If I ask he gets irritated. Any potential mates out there looking for a well-educated, well intended, aspiring to be a full time employed, out of work, homeless, bum? Your sons know you love them and they are working to help. I have contemplated suicide more times than I can imagine and the sad part about it, is that the person I love most I can't talk to about it as he resents me so much. They are weak and sick. I know what you are going through as I am on the opposite side of this equation. We are struggling financially. This board isn't about men or women like you who are trying. These woman don’t want your husband…. You will make it through this. I try to talk to him but he just walk away. He doesn't seem to try and look for a job either. Oh, by the way, my wife just informed me tonight that she is tired of supporting me, so I will probably be divorced soon. This is the worst job market since the great depression. We struggle with the mortgage and utilities. Mine cheated with prostitutes and no matter how many times he cried and promised to stop, he never will. Tosh, all of it. I'm counting on it. My parents live 2 hours away and I am lucky if we can afford to visit them once a year. He has turned into a man-child, basically, clinging to me because he has no friends and family in town, glad when I have a day off and wants to spend all his time with me, when I need time to myself! Mostly the type of work I am able to find is contract work which is fine, but its hit and miss and usually only temporary work. :-) It is so difficult from the point of view of someone that is unemployed. Make sure they know that school is the priority that will lift you all out of poverty and most importantly, take care of yourself so you can continue to support them. I had to prod him to apply for unemployment, and when he got denied, I had to scream at him to apply for an appeal. I have a child of 3 years old and my husband has been unemployed for 4 months. He doesn't have one but from what I have been reading here, degrees do nothing save overqualify you and put you in deep debt. He is STILL UNEMPLOYED and has been so since April of this year. Even with a college education. I don't know how shall i handle this issue. With the next interview, we hope he'll get hired. That's MY america. They go right out the window because high blood sugar levels symptoms I have no job. Make them hire me? He is driving me crazy! what causes sciatic nerve problems I've been there too. What she didn’t know is that part of the reason I was trying to do everything was so that she’d never have a reason for getting stroppy with me, which I’ve been desparate for her to stop doing because every time, after she does, I really struggle to rebuild my affection for her. What I believe to be the greatest misconception about being unemployed is that somehow the unemployed individual has any choice in the matter. You do the best you can and when my husband drinks too much you know better, you do better. She had quite a go at me the first time I put a wash on in our new house — because she didn’t want to do another wash that day. I have a bad back, a heal spur on my left foot, high blood pressure and a week heart. I just found out yesterday that he just only start to type his resume. On Monday, my husband left the house while I was sleeping. Why I sat at the dr’s Tuesday being tested for various STD’s. How long would that last before I started creating hospital bills we couldn’t afford to pay? Currently, he has been unemployed for almost two years. I have been empolyed at the same job for 17 years. It's simply not true. As for things he's good at: He's an exceptionally talented person who has more ideas than drive. Make sure the house is clean and straight, the yard is clean. My fiancee kicked me out of our home 6 weeks ago because I only have a part time job, and have been unable to find full time work for just over a year, unable to contribute to the bills. I can't talk to him about anything, I mean anything at all without it getting thrown in my face that he supports me and I just need to stop being a nagging ***** face. I'm almost there. His company, which was run very badly, closed. V while I’m exhausted after working all day, cooking, caring for the kids, and then cleaning the kitchen. You would think with all that free time, he might spare enough to do more than fifty percent of the household chores. It's not my husband's fault he lost his job. My confidence is nil to none and I feel most days as though I beat myself up and feel like I have failed at everything. Evidently though because I am natural remedies for asthma symptoms unemployed, I am no longer entitled to my opinions, decisions, or input in any household of family matter. He can do almost everything yet he is waiting around for someone to employ him. Keep this in perspective. Nothing like a serious case of denial to keep a marriage going! Make sure you tell them how much you appreciate their help and how proud you are of how they are handling this situation. But this isn't about anybody's AMERICA. If you love someone you do anything to be supportive. I would work past my retirement age to make it up to my wife. He keeps intimating moving back home, but I don't want to. My desires, concerns, expectations, wishes, dreams. She feeds the baby and does the washing and the bigger part of the cooking, although I do maybe 25% of the cooking. He wanted to be just like him. I want to work, I need to work. We never go on vacation and we bearly make ends meet. I would like to do more, but once we had an argument that by trying to do everything I was making her feel incapable; plus, to her credit, she was concerned about me falling asleep at my desk at work. And you already have. We're all in this together. My wife makes all the decision now. Depression leads to anxiety, which leads to low self-esteem, which leads to poor interviews, which leads to not getting a job. I didn’t think so. You will too. The truly crazy part is the lack of empathy from close friends or family. tea that makes you lose weight fast We all struggle, we all fail, we all get back up and we help each other out. Now unemployed, I still have opinions. Furthermore, at face value, it feels to me as if you’ve been conditioned by someone outside (I’m guessing your church) to believe the nonsense the women are not equal to men and that we somehow must be attached to a man to have any sort of respectability in society. Don't let the enemy tell you everyone would be better off without you. I am so disappointing. It’s humiliating to be out of work, jobless, unemployed, no self-respect, no self-esteem. I woke up and checked his email only to find he has been picking up women from various websites and paying for sex while he works out of town. He has berated me in the past few months about how much weight I have put on, how untidy my husband drinks too much I am and how I leave the house slobby, the fact that I haven't gotten work means he doesn't respect me. He has given his phone number, offered cash and told them which hotel he is at – offering to pick them up or they can come to him. They are adults and know better. I think many of you are missing Kate’s point. Good luck and God bless you. This man has hurt so many people yet he my husband drinks too much continues to deny everything – even though i have some of the emails – which are explicit and disgusting. We are better off without them. It is a heck of lot better than what we went through. I mean sure, I could start a business, but that takes money which I can’t afford to spend. The only conclusion I can make is that he never has loved me. I would love, love, Love to be gainfully employed in my chosen profession. What else, I could flip burgers at the local fast food joint. That's what this board is for. Thankfully my wife has a good job, however it still falls short of paying all our bills. Trust me. Many people I know have lost their way of making money and the job they find replaces half of what they make, if they find a job. They know you would do anything to help them. They make a choice and I wouldn’t say they choose their family. That may be due to him or his references saying bad things about him, so he changed his list of references. I can see why when money stops coming in the front door, love goes straight out the back. HE NEVER FILED FOR AN APPEAL. He just surfing and watch TV whole day long. Yet, chronic kidney disease stage 5 life expectancy in the same paragraph, you make it seem as though you’re somehow empowered and free. And so it goes in this great thing called life. I would really love to have a full time job that would take me into my retirement years and beyond. Wish I could manage to convince myself that it’s ok for my husband to sit on the couch watching t. My wife my husband drinks too much and I have been married for 7 years now, and I have been employed off and on for most of our married life. We have a nice new television, but can’t afford cable, so we rent moves. This is sick and wrong and there is no excuse. This won't last forever and you will be a better, stronger man because of it and be an inspiration to your sons. And that’s not the worst part. And you will be too! I have gone through so much stress related to the down turn in the economy and kept my job. Why I must wait 2 months to find out if I have HIV. I married my husband in 1997 and he has had very spotty employment. She is right…if it wasn’t this escort, it would be another. The sad fact is, there are very few jobs that pay a living wage in our society anymore. There were times during our marriage when I was employed where I had an opinion on matters in our relationship. No deal. I have come to a full sink of dishes, carpeting that goes without vacuuming for weeks, and unlaundered clothes more times than I can count. My advice - do what you can. Been there…done that…have the commemorative t-shirt. I called a counselor tonight as I really felt I was losing my mind and will physically go to one on Wednesday as well as a lawyer. The thing is, I can't believe I am in this situation. What has soothed me about this thread is learning that degrees don't matter. There is a better time coming for you and your sons. Anymore the wedding vows should be rewritten to include “in wealth, or despair do us part”. This contract work usually lasts anywhere from 6 to 12 months. I can't believe I let this happen. He is not blameless in this, however. The pain is excruciating. I do have health problems as well. If nothing else, we can give a sympathetic ear, share stories, maybe even a laugh or two. He gets very angry if someone asks him about his job. That you say, “women need to stay married but get a life” is very telling about your personal lack of self-worth (which it seems stems from a lack of maturity on your part). I was shocked to see so many women broken-hearted by men that see prostitutes. We really don't socialize because of our situation. As far as I am concerned our life was a lie. " but he needs to bring in some kind of money NOW. I've been where you are and made it through. I wouldn't be here if not for the grace of God. I am a qualified well educated manufacturing technologist. That's not my husband drinks too much the legacy you want to leave your sons. All I can do is keep looking and keep trying to my husband drinks too much find that needle in a haystack called a job. I don’t want to take anything from this man, but I am penniless and it has come down to fighting to ensure we can eat and live. If he left you and proposed marriage to them they would run the other way. He has been on interviews, but has received no job offers. Keep in mind this has not been by choice. He had a very relaxed attitude towards finding work for the first ten months of his unemployment, during which he slept until three in the afternoon and basically goofed off and blissed out. They hurt so many people and the kids are innocent.