Over the year, it progressed. Your job is to do well in school, be the sweet and caring young lady that you are, and to be there for your sisters. They will resent YOU for not protecting them. He claims thathat his drinking now is only because his bones hurt from working so hard (he’s a plumber so I know he really does work hard) but won’t even consider taking an actual medication for the pain. I want to talk to him but I know hell get angry so please could you give me advice of how to deal with this as I have run out of ideas and I am really struggling? My boyfriend owns a bar for the last five years he has drank himself till he pukes then starts drinking again he lost the business, now he goes on a job out of state but comes home after being gone 8 weeks maybe 3 to 4 weeks and drinks rumple Mintz til he is wasted every day but says he has not a drinking problem. It became apparent that if I was in the same house, let alone the same state, he would do NOTHING. My boyfriend (the father of my 1. I want life. He refuses to admit that it’s a problem. Do what you need to do, but also consider removing yourself from the situation if only temporarily to get a grasp on your sanity. It’s certainly something you’ll want to think about before approaching. Each plea to address it was met with scoffs, counter demands or flat out laughing at me and ignoring me. They probably don’t what number is high blood pressure know how to get help but It is NOT your job to fix your parents. He is now making lofty promises that I hope he will keep and has his first meeting next week, but it is the ONLY thing that I could do to make him wake up. But its been 2 days and I’m terrified that he’s just going to let us go because he doesn’t want to quit or even cut back on his drinking. He started drinking around the 10th time his ex cheated on him and he admits that his drinking started as a way to cope with the pain of her betrayal. It’s affecting your children right now :( Your parents love you but because of their illnesses they can’t think about anyone other then themselves. I started drinking flavored soda water (unsweetened -- Faygo makes some, or La Croix, although I hate the canned flavor of La Croix). He says he is awake. Among all this, I am mother can not stop drinking diagnosed with severe depression and generalized anxiety. And although I’ve never beat the mother of my children physically I have emotionally. If your parents don’t care enough about themselves to get help, you need to go stay with another family member or friend. She gave me the confidence and knowledge of dealing with an alcoholic. Unfortunately, I had mother can not stop drinking to spend the last year crying, scared, sometimes ignoring the problem and just pretending it didn’t exist. They don’t want to admit they’re really sick or doing anything wrong. We are due to move in together in less than a month and I am so down and don’t know what to do? I don’t know what to do at this point. Those who abuse alcohol drink because they are dependent on the substance. 5 year old son) admits he has depression and drinks to self medicate. After all, you really don’t want to open an unnecessary can of worms. I hope you can find someone who deserves your love. My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic but when I’m not with him I have a gut feeling he drinks. The alcoholic is the only one that can do it for them-self. When they have an addiction, we live with it. We may have a shot at being together again, I really hope so. Luckily we have been in contact on a constant basis and we are talking through many of the issues that alcohol put up a wall to, but it took me walking away to get him to speak up. Please please remember that. Know you are not alone. However, doing so is not easy, and it’s a path on which you have to be careful how you tread. I mother can not stop drinking am afraid if anything ever happened to me she still wouldn’t be there for me, even though I have been there for her countless times in the past 5 years. I want my kids and their mother to have the best me I can give. I am afraid I am heading down the same road. I don’t know what to do. If they can afford to stop working and go into rehab long enough that might work, but they have to be in rehab long enough, 6 to 12 months or longer. The other day I decided I couldn’t do it anymore and told him I was going to my mom’s house and that when he decides our son and I are worth more than alcohol we will come back. They have to have a true desire to stay away from alcohol and avoid it at all costs. I know I’ve seperated my gf from “my drunk gf” as if there are almost 2 people. This is one of the signs I know really well when he has been drinking. You honestly don’t know how bad I feel about your situation. I am so sorry for you. They have to have a true desire what defines high blood pressure to stay mother can not stop drinking sober and take action, do something about it so they stay away from alcohol. My gf has slowly increased her drinking. You can not stop an alcoholic, if they can’t stop them selves why do you think you can. No matter what anyone says, you are not to blame. For 2. You get addicted to it, but all you’re doing is hurting yourself and others. We make excuses (even if it’s subconsciously) for it and we lose ourselves. Complicating our issue is his family literally stacked around us in our neighborhood who also ignore the problem or in passing, blame me and essentially tell me to how to stop a smoke detector from beeping handle it. But now he drinks 18-36 beers every single night. The issue is, my mom gets super defensive whenever one of us kids bring up her drinking, and she knows we’re all disappointed in her for refusing help, yet she continues tips to help you stop smoking to drink. Getting someone to get sober and stop drinking alcohol is hard because alcoholics become emotionally attached to the substance. I know FIRST HAND. You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it, you can’t cure it. She was ready to walk when he did wake up and he went to rehab. You can not make that person give up what they want. Oftentimes I wish I was the adult in our relationship so I could control her appointments mother can not stop drinking , because there’s no way she’ll get help of her own free will. In fact, he treated it as a little drama fit and continued on as usual. They have to agree to it when they are sober and then EVERY day do something that keeps them accountable for that day not to get drunk, there has to be a strong enough reason that they see so they will not get drunk. I see a therapist for my issues, and she agrees that if my mother stopped drinking the household would be a much calmer place. So after a recent plea and the same response, I left and stayed at a friend’s house for what I planned was a week. My dad is attempting to quit now, but what I’m worried about is my mom. My mom is nearly the best tea for weight loss constantly drinking, whereas my dad just goes on occasional binges. Some people can stop over night, but not many. Your parents are adults and blaming their children for their addiction and their problems is a just a way for them to pass the blame and not take responsibility for their actions and behavior. Please don’t stay in that dangerous environment. I am thinking of you. It’s only been since the 5th or so since I left the house initially, and the 12th when I left officially, but I am now 1300 miles away near my family until I can figure out what to do. Sometimes I think about going back to cutting until she stops drinking just to get her to take it seriously. But with a health issue that complicates this, I am no longer willing to stay awake at night to check his breathing constantly. I am staying with a family member temporarily but set to do otherwise if needed. Another good friend is what sprang me into action. Please don’t forget that. I myself am a alcoholic. We map what is good for gastritis our lives around it. And your story of pain and sadness has made me realize just how much pain alcoholism causes and I am truly sorry to you,my family and anybody else who suffers because of us alcoholics. In the past, I wasn’t sure, but suspected. He is going to probation AA meetings every week but last night I knew he’d been drinking and when his phone went dead he never called me back (on skype). I hope soon there will be only 1 person. I probably won’t as I couldn’t get away with it, but I’m just at a loss. If they don’t want to stop, guess what, they will not stop. If I don’t stick to my boundaries, why would he change? I hope they do get better but mostly I hope you and your sisters find a safe and healthy environment to live in. Remember, their disease and addiction is their first love at the moment, they are not thinking with the mind of a healthy person. Given this alone, the most important thing you can do to help someone who is drinking too much is to have open communication. He has told me that he isn’t but his actions speak louder than words. Her drinking and your fathers abuse IS NOT you or your sisters fault. I have known him since I was 16, and been married to him for also 19 years. I will pray for you. This is also why I chose to be so far away, to keep him to his promises, and for me to stay true to the boundaries I gave him. It's got all the fizzy satisfaction of soda without the extra calories and teeth degrading evilness. What do I do? She was well into the process and told me of all the constant repeating of recovery she went through. Praying for them will not work (ok, that is my opinion), hugs and kisses will not work (same thing), telling them you love them will not work (unless that is really all they need, but probably not). We both have children too which makes things a lot worse. I don’t have as many years with my husband but do have a similar situation. But I don’t want it anymore. Don’t say he’s not abusive to them; watching him abuse alcohol, and watching him mistreat their mother is abusive. If your parents can’t see what they’re doing to their family and the pain they’re causing then you and your sisters need to go stay somewhere else until they get better. I’ll hope the same or better for you as well. Every time I try to talk about he gets upsets yells n say I exaggerated the problem. I’m 15 and slimming tea that works fast my mom and dad are both raging alcoholics which leads to many fights especially with my oldest brother (who is mentally ill). Please pray for us we are truly sick. He still responded the same way. How can I get through to mother can not stop drinking her? He also refuses to do anything that might actually help with his depression (eating healthy, exercise, not drinking, seeing someone, etc) and instead chooses to self medicate with alcohol. She’s mentally ill as well, but she refuses help. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you all but you do not have to deal with it in your own. So for anyone that is hoping, praying and whatever else, it is time to wake up and accept that you are in for a long, hard road ahead, so get away from that person and live your life, take the kids away so they don’t have to deal with the alcoholics behavior. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I am only how to avoid kidney problems a few weeks into it. When they’re teenagers, and can fight back (or not) you’re going to see the damage this has caused. 5 years I’ve sat and watched him drink so much he ends up hugging the toilet nearly every night. Know that your investment into the marriage and your relationship is important, but that you are not required to forfeit the amount you have put into it by way of your well being, happiness or sanity. Find an adult you can talk to and ask for help but whatever you do, don’t blame yourself for anything that’s happening or might happen in the future. It’s going to affect your children. I won’t lie and say I don’t feel like jumping in my car and going right back. I love him so much but I can’t watch him drink his life away. At restaurants, I order soda water with lime instead of tap water to save some money on both drinks and appetizers, since the fizz keeps my stomach satisfied until dinner arrives. After I stopped drinking it, I realized that the thing I missed most about soda was the fizz. Don’t have pity on them, there are things they can do every day to make their life better, without alcohol. Lately, it’s been making everything worse, and I know her own emotional issues and the stress of our lives (we’re not doing great with money especially) lead to her using alcohol as a coping mechanism, but the way I think of it, it’s like self harm. I am cursed I feel. I knew nothing was going to change as he had his addiction locked down and his family and me under control so to speak. It got worse after a surgery this past year, when I was called by ICU and told of the problem, confirming there actually was one. The first thing is they have to want to stop or want to be stopped. This is all on your folks, they are the ones causing problems and it’s their blame and theirs alone! I will tell you that it is panic inducing and paralyzing. If you are concerned that someone close to you might have a problem with alcohol, your instinct reaction is probably that you wish you could get him or her to stop drinking.